Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Another old man needs a faceful of birdshot

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)--Vice President Dick Cheney on Wednesday challenged GOP presidential hopeful John McCain's assertion--three months after saying "he deserves Americans' respect and gratitude for his many years of public service"--that Donald Rumsfeld was one of the country's worst defense secretaries.

"John's entitled to his ignorant fucking opinion. I just think he's scum," said Cheney, a co-conspirator of Rumsfeld's. He also disclosed that the Arizona senator had fallen all over himself apologizing for previously saying that the vice president had "badly served" President Bush on Iraq.

"John said some nasty things about me the other day, and then next time he saw me, ran over to me and apologized before I could sight in on the bastard," Cheney said in an interview with ABC News.

At a campaign event in Los Angeles, McCain said he stood by his most recent remarks about Rumsfeld, for now. He did not mention the hated and feared vice president, and his campaign declined to comment on Cheney's remarks.

Despite overall approval ratings placing him below child-molesters and chronic toe-cheese, the vice president continues to be very popular among oil company executives and defense contractors, and many of them are likely to pour money into next year's GOP presidential caucuses and primaries.

McCain, who lost the Republican nomination to Cheney's sock-puppet in 2000, is expected to formally announce his second run for the White House next month. He faces strong challenges from Mitt Romney, the blow-dried, flip-flopping former Massachusetts governor, and Rudolph Giuliani, the snarling serial adulterer and ex-mayor of New York. Both men are political whores of the first magnitude, but neither has shown quite the aptitude for changing positions to suit this week's prevailing wind that McCain has demonstrated.

A former corrupt, incompetent defense secretary himself, Cheney was asked about McCain's comments while awaiting the arrival of a pair of teenage hookers at the Yokosuka Naval Base in Japan. He called Rumsfeld a great secretary.

"I know a little bit about the job. I've watched what he's done for us over there for six years. I think he did a superb job in terms of managing our investments under extraordinarily difficult circumstances," Cheney said.

Last month, McCain blamed both Cheney and Rumsfeld for the "terribly mishandled" war that he has supported every step of the way.

"The president...bears the ultimate responsibility (for the clusterfuck in Iraq), but he was very badly served by both the vice president and, most of all, the secretary of defense," McCain was quoted as telling The Politico, a Capitol Hill newspaper and Web site.

A few days later, Cheney said, McCain approached him on the Senate floor, said he had been quoted out of context and offered a blowjob.

"I was happy to accept," Cheney said.

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