Maverick hates women

SPARTANBURG, S.C (AP)--Republican presidential candidate and Bush Family whore John McCain, looking to improve his standing with the Family's Religious Nazi base, said Sunday the court decision that legalized abortion should be overturned, as well as the Nineteenth Amendment.

McCain also vowed that if elected, he would appoint judges who "strictly interpret the Constitution of the United States and do not legislate from the bench or deviate in any way from what I say I think that day."

The landmark 1973 decision in Roe v. Wade gave women the right to claim ownership of their bodies--110 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, another event many Republicans regret. The Supreme Court has narrowly upheld the decision and always will, because otherwise the Bush Crime Family wouldn't be able to manipulate America's more retarded elements into voting against their own economic interests every goddamn time. The presence of an increasing number of more conservative justices on the court suggests that the Bushes anticipate having to lawyer up some time in the coming months.

Religious nazis are a critical voting bloc in the GOP presidential primaries.

McCain's campaign also announced early Sunday that he had been endorsed by former Oklahoma Governor Frank Keating, who had been considering his own bid for the White House in 2000 before the Bushes told him to back off, and former Texas Senator Phil Gramm, who proved less popular than barking madman Bob Dole in 1996.

Keating told the crowd that McCain is the "only candidate who is a true-blue, Ronald Reagan conservative," meaning he's too old for the job and will be an excellent tool for the Bush Family.

McCain (Slogan--"McCain: He's the best we can do.") has strong name recognition and the largest network of supporters in South Carolina. But it's the same state that dealt a crushing blow to his presidential aspirations in 2000, when he was ratfucked with a misleading and racist push-poll carried out by the same political operatives who are now running his campaign.

McCain is trying to suck up to the religious nazis after a recent rebuke from noted Christian psychopath James Dobson, who said he wouldn't back McCain's presidential bid unless he ditched all his moderate views.

Iraq War symbolically over

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)--The Democratic-controlled House of Representatives issued a symbolic rejection of President Bush's decision to dump more troops into his Iraq quagmire on Friday, opening an epic confrontation between Congress and commander in chief over a disastrous and illegal war that has taken the lives of more than 3,100 U.S. troops and left 20,000 more maimed for life.

The vote on the pointless nonbinding measure was 246-182, and within minutes, Democrats said their next move would be to challenge Bush's request for $93 billion in new funds for the Carlyle Group.

Twisting recent comments by Democrats, Bush's Republican goons said repeatedly the measure would lead to attempts to cut off food and ammunition for the troops and leave them to die in the desert with no way to charge their iPods.

"Now it's time to stand up for my friends who did not make it home, and for those who fought and died in Iraq already," said GOP Representative Sam Johnson of Texas, who was a prisoner of war in Vietnam and should know better. "We must not cut funding for our friends in the defense industry. We must stick by them," he added, snapping off a salute as he completed his remarks to yet another kneejerk ovation.

Moving quickly, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) set a test vote for Saturday on an identical measure, and several presidential contenders in both parties were forced to rearrange their weekend campaign schedules to be present and do their fucking job.

The House vote completed a turnabout from the fall of 2002, when the House bowed, 296-133, to Bush's request to authorize military action against Iraqi ruler Saddam Hussein as soon as evidence could be fabricated indicating that he was a threat to the U.S.

U.S.-led troops made quick work of his regime but soon discovered it was the only thing keeping long-suppressed sectarian rivalries from boiling over into full-fledged civil war. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqis have died in the ensuing war, along with more than 3,100 U.S. troops.

Bush made no comment on the developments in the House, and his spokesman said the president was too drunk to watch the proceedings on television.

Bush has already said passage of the measure will not deter him from proceeding with the deployment of another 21,500 troops, designed primarily to make John McCain stop complaining.

Bush and his flunkies in Congress calculated days ago that the House measure would pass, and increasingly have focused their energy on attacking the next step in the Democrats' attempt to end U.S. participation in the war, which is to stop paying for it.

"The President believes that the Congress should provide the full funding and flexibility the defense industry needs to thrive and prosper," said White House Channel anchorman Tony Snow.

Democrats have indicated they will use Bush's spending request to impose certain standards of readiness, training and rest for the troops, which Republicans say proves how much they hate them.

"This is all part of their plan to eliminate funding for our troops that are in harm's way and just leave them over there with no dinner and no way home. And we stand here as Republicans...committed to making sure our troops in harm's way have all the funds and equipment they need to survive witnessing this civil war in Iraq," said John Boehner of Ohio, pretending to choke back tears.

No one could've anticipated diplomacy with Iran

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters)--Controversy over a missed U.S. opportunity for sane diplomatic relations with Iran grew on Wednesday as a former aide accused Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice of lying to Congress on the issue.

Flynt Leverett, who worked on the National Security Council when it was headed by Rice, said a proposal vetted by Tehran's most senior leaders was sent to the United States in May 2003 and was akin to the 1972 U.S. opening to China, which helped us to avoid nuclear war with that country.

Speaking at a conference on Capitol Hill, Leverett said he was confident it was seen by Rice and then-Secretary of State Colin Powell but "the administration rejected the overture" as unprofitable for Halliburton and others.

Rice's spokesman denied she lied to Congress and reiterated that she never saw the proposal and anyway, she's just a girl.

Testifying before a U.S. Congress committee last week, Rice said in that strident, whining way she has, "I don't know what Flynt Leverett's talking about."

She faulted him for not spelling out to her, as to a small child with a severe learning disability, "We have a proposal from Iran and we really ought to take it."

On Wednesday, State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said: "What she said is she has no recollection of having seen it. She has said that repeatedly, and will keep saying it over and over until people stop asking her about it."

Leverett and others have represented the proposal as a missed opportunity that could have defused tensions with Iran which have grown to the point that the Bush Crime Family has been forced to deny it plans military action against Tehran, even as it plans military action against Tehran.

Leverett said Rice should apologize for calling his competence into question, also that he wouldn't be holding his breath.

He said he had left the National Security Council, which theoretically advises the president on security issues, in March 2003 before the Iranian proposal was received but after it was known that the Bush Family was pursuing a policy of total war in the Mideast. He returned to the CIA where he previously worked, but which was now a clearing house for ginned-up intelligence favoring war, and soon after left government.

Leverett said Powell, in a conversation about the Iranian proposal, told him he "couldn't sell it at the White House." This was evidence it had been discussed there, he said, or at least laughed about over drinks.

The proposal was transmitted in May 2003 by the Swiss ambassador in Tehran, Tim Guldimann, who represented U.S. interests there. Washington has not had diplomatic relations with Iran since two years after the 1979 Islamic revolution, when George H.W. Bush pulled his October Surprise negotiators out in the fuzzy afterglow of the Reagan inauguration.

Bill Donohue gets what he wants

RALEIGH, N.C. (AP)--A second blogger working for Democratic presidential candidate and Catholic League whipping-boy John Edwards quit Tuesday under pressure from a single misanthropic blowhard who said her previous online messages were anti-Catholic.

Melissa McEwan wrote on her personal blog, Shakespeare's Sister, that she left the campaign because she was becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the level of attention focused on her and her family by a vicious right-wing demagogue claiming to speak for all Catholics.

McEwan's resignation came just one day after another blogger, Amanda Marcotte of Pandagon, left the Edwards staff for similar reasons.

Both had become a flashpoint for bigoted loudmouth Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, a paranoid fringe group with no religious authority. Last week, Donohue demanded that Edwards fire both bloggers, and Edwards, to his shame, blinked.

Edwards, a former North Carolina senator who for some reason has not yet learned that the proper response to Religious Right hitmen who attack your flank is "Blow me," responded that he considered the bloggers' past writings personally offensive and added that similar content would not be tolerated. But he decided to keep Marcotte and McEwan on staff to give them "a fair shake" and try to avoid the wrath of the millions of progressive voters who wouldn't know Bill Donohue from a stinking, worm-infested hole in the ground.

"We're beginning a great debate about the future of our country, and we can't let it be hijacked," Edwards said in a statement last week, after having let it be hijacked.

Donohue had promised a nationwide scorched-earth smear campaign in newspapers, magazines and Catholic publications in an effort to rid the Edwards campaign of the two bloggers. The Catholic League counts 350,000 members, or about one half of one percent of all U.S. Catholics.

McEwan and Marcotte have stressed that the content and opinions on their personal blogs are in no way a reflection of the Edwards campaign, which you'd think would be obvious.

Donohue is a trash-talking piece of shit who thinks speaking out against the church should be illegal. He is obsessed with anal sex and Hollywood's control by "secular Jews who hate Christianity."

"It's too bad that Edwards didn't make the decision himself to get rid of them," Donohue said Tuesday night. "Why he had to wait for these women to bail on their own doesn't speak well for him. But I'm delighted, and as far as I'm concerned, this closes the issue. I have no vendetta against John Edwards, now that he's crippled himself in the eyes of his supporters."

"We would never invade anyone!"

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters)--President George W. Bush is trying to convince the world he has no intention of invading Iran, but the world isn't as stupid as it used to be and just about everyone sees recent U.S. charges that Iran is shipping bombs into Iraq as the same kind of bullshit that led to our disastrous invasion and occupation of that country.

Having ordered two aircraft carrier groups to the Persian Gulf and accused Iranians of providing Iraqi Shi'ite militants with bombs that have killed 170 Americans and countless Sunni insurgents who themselves have killed twenty times that many Americans, Bush and his top aides are denying that a new war is brewing or that they understand why anyone would think that.

Bush himself, of course, prompted the debate in a January 10 speech outlining his re-branded same-old Iraq strategy, by saying, out of nowhere, "Iran is providing material support for attacks on American troops. We will disrupt the attacks on our forces."

The White House sees tensions with Iran over its nuclear ambitions as a separate issue from Tehran's alleged bomb supplies in Iraq, much the same way Saddam Hussein's human rights record was a separate issue from Baghdad's alleged WMD stockpiles.

Bush says he wants the nuclear issue resolved diplomatically, but refuses to speak with anyone in the Iranian government. He has authorized U.S. forces to capture or kill Iranians involved in attacks on Americans or Iraqis inside Iraq, or any Iranians who look like they might be thinking about maybe getting involved in attack-related program activities.

Democrats say they fear a repeat of 2002, when Bush denied there were plans for war against Iraq, and 2003, when Bush made the case for war against Iraq by lying about weapons of mass destruction.

When Bush hears arguments that dare to suggest he might have lied us into the stupidest foreign escapade in the nation's history, he sees a political attack from Democrats who hate America and want their party to claim the White House in 2008, possibly so they can paint it pink.

"I guess my reaction to all this shit about 'he wants to go to war'...first of all I don't understand the tactics. I guess I would say it's political," Bush told C-SPAN on Monday, before passing out.

The Family says some of the war talk is being driven by a news media hungry for the next big story, rather than the cabal's transparent attempts to whip up support for World War Three.

"I think that there have been attempts, with all due respect, in the press, to try to whip this up--'Is the administration going after Iran?"' said White House celebrity spokesweasel Tony Snow. "And I think the Anna Nicole Smith coverage has really suffered as a result."

Anthony Cordesman of the Center for Strategic and International Studies, a right-wing neoconservative think tank, said the Iran war debate appeared to be driven by gutless pussy Democrats looking for something to whine about and godly patriots who would like to nuke Tehran.

"It's quite clear from the content that they are trying to stop the flow of money and arms not provided by the Carlyle Group," he said. "If anything, the signals are more about market share than anything else."

The Bush Crime Family is trying to walk a fine line between threatening Iran over its alleged bomb supplies in Iraq, which Tehran denies, and underscoring its alleged diplomacy over Iran's nuclear ambitions, which no one has seen.

On the issue of Iranian bombs in Iraq, U.S. officials are adamant that the evidence is true. "The Iranians are up to their eyeballs in this activity," State Department spokesman Sean McCormack said. "It's a slam-dunk."