Perjury isn't treason, but it's a start

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters)--The perjury trial of Bush Crime Family thug Lewis "Scooter" Libby begins on Tuesday, but the investigation has already revealed the sleaze and malfeasance of the cabal's internal workings and demonstrated the culpability of the news media.

Vice President Dick "Shotgun" Cheney heads the list of prominent criminals and media whores expected to testify in a case that will examine the ways the White House and the Washington press corps lied the nation into war in Iraq in 2003.

The case began as an effort to determine what filthy traitor revealed the identity of a CIA operative working on weapons of mass destruction, whose husband--career diplomat Joseph "Mister" Wilson--revealed in a New York Times article that the Bush Family's story about Saddam's yellowcake uranium was all bullshit.

Nobody has been charged with treason yet, but Libby resigned as Cheney's chief of staff when he was charged with pathologically lying to a grand jury and the FBI during the investigation.

Legal experts say Special Prosecutor Patrick "Pit-Bull" Fitzgerald's case may have been weakened by his decision to prosecute Libby rather than former Deputy Secretary of State Richard "Cueball" Armitage, who has attempted to muddy the waters by claiming it was he who revealed CIA operative Valerie "Alias" Plame's identity to reporters.

Opening arguments begin on Tuesday. Libby's lawyers plan to argue that any lies he may have told were a result of his inability to remember what he said to whom about what because he was preoccupied with important national security matters, such as silencing other potential whistle-blowers by making an example of a pair of exemplary public servants.

Experts say Fitzgerald has damaged the independence of the news media by forcing reporters who were fed Plame's identity to choose between prison and disclosing confidential conversations with treasonous criminals.

Judith "Scum Queen" Miller of The New York Times spent 85 days behind bars before agreeing to cooperate.

The investigation has also hurt the White House, experts say, as Libby quit and top political adviser Karl "Turd-Blossom" Rove faced intense scrutiny by prosecutors before being, for now, cleared.

Fitzgerald will try to use Miller and other expected witnesses to keep the focus on how often Libby lied and to whom, rather than delving into the clusterfuck in Iraq or the mendacity of White House statements leading up to it.

But those controversial subjects have affected even mundane aspects of the case, causing jury selection to take a day longer than planned when 16 potential jurors said they could not judge the case impartially because Dick Cheney would poison a blind man's dog, steal his cane and sell him a rat's ass for a wedding ring.

At least seven of the 12 jurors left at the end of the process have expressed the opinion that the Bush administration would lie about the weather.