Lying little prick to step down

WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters)--Lying little prick Alberto Gonzales has resigned as Attorney General, an official said on Monday, ending a controversial tenure as chief law enforcement officer that blemished the otherwise spotless administration of President George W. Bush.

The official confirmed a Web site report of the resignation by The New York Times, telling Reuters an official announcement would be made later in the day, after the president gets some solid food down.

The 51-year-old Bush butt-monkey was at the center of a political firestorm over the purge of insufficiently partisan federal prosecutors last year, which critics in Congress complained were totally uncool.

Gonzales worked for Bush when he was governor of Texas in the 1990s, covering up his drunk driving convictions and helping him sign execution orders. He served as White House lawyer in Bush's first term as president, declaring torture legal and the Geneva Conventions "quaint," before becoming the first crooked Mexican to serve as attorney general in February 2005.

Current and former administration officials had said the department's integrity had been damaged under Gonzales with controversy over the stacking of the federal courts with GOP operatives, his support for Bush's unconstitutional warrantless domestic spying program and other issues.

Several senators have said they had lost confidence in Gonzales and his ability to head the Justice Department. Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) was quoted on several occasions saying, "Harumph!"

While pretending mistakes were made in the handling of the dismissals, Gonzales denied the firings were politically motivated to influence federal probes involving Democratic or Republican lawmakers, but he was lying.

Bush has defended Gonzales and cited Gonzales' rise as an achievement for "Hispanics," the largest imaginary minority in the United States.

"I haven't seen Congress say he's done anything wrong," Bush said at a recent news conference. "Pussies."

Gonzales drew fire from civil liberties groups for writing in January 2002 that parts of the Geneva Convention were "obsolete" and some provisions were "quaint."

He also was criticized for Bush's warrantless domestic spying program adopted after, or perhaps before, the September 11 attacks. Only in January, in an abrupt reversal, Gonzales said the program finally would be subject to court approval. And then last month, cowardly Democrats in Congress said, "No, that's all right. Don't bother."