Saturday, May 03, 2008

Here's some money, give it back

CRAWFORD, TX (AP)--Nominal U.S. President George W. Bush attempted to convince Americans on Saturday that federal checks en route to them as part of a stimulus plan will help spur the ailing economy, even though everyone knows it's all going straight into gas-tanks and credit-card debt.

"These rebates will deliver up to $600 per person, $1,200 per couple, and $300 per child," Bush said in his weekly drunken radio address from Texas.

"This package will help American families help me move even more money from the Treasury to my friends in the oil business," Bush said, then added the usual shit about inspiring businesses to invest and create jobs, which has been proven wrong every quarter of every year since he stole the presidency.

Bush spoke as he began yet another blackout weekend at his phony ranch in Crawford, Texas, and a day after the U.S. Labor Department reported that 20,000 jobs were shed in April, which everyone thinks is good news because they thought it would be even worse. No one bothers to mention anymore how many jobs need to be created every month just to keep up with the number of people entering the work force, partly because it's too depressing and partly because this administration hasn't accomplished it even once in seven years.

At the same time, the national unemployment rate fell to 5 percent from 5.1 percent in March. This means nothing except that about a million people gave up looking for work because there ain't any.

In his pointless, incoherent radio address, Bush tried to ease concerns about the economy he wrecked, which has replaced the disastrous war he started as the top issue among American voters as they get ready to have John McCain forced on them by the media and Diebold in November.

Bush touted the $150 billion "economic stimulus" package that he signed into law after it was passed with bipartisan support in the Democratic-led Congress, which has learned nothing and probably never will.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just like the verdamte, bed-wetting, crypto-corprophagic corporate MSM, you insist on killing my Eloi-like consumer buzz with the same sort of "empirical data" that highbrow liberal elites have historically manipulated to create anti-American paradigms such as "A/C power," "nuclear fission," "cheap computers" and "arterial stents."

So what if government statistics suggest that we're hemorrhaging jobs, that we're not creating any, and that there are probably millions of jobless people so far off the fucking grid that they are virtually undetectable, even to debt collectors? The very fact that you are using unassailable facts to chill my high is proof positive that you're the kind of pussified parlor Marxist who wipes his ass with the scalps of patriots and thinks there's something wrong with "indiscriminately killing civilians."

There's a 15% Off Sale at BootBarn this month and, by God, I'm going to use my $300 to peel the hides off a couple of ostriches so I can turn some filly's head on "D-Cup Night" over at the Margherita Mill.

THAT's what made America great, Comrade Bob -- not your brand of nancy-ass whining about how my country in 2008 makes Weimar Berlin look like the Golden Age of Greece.

Grab some tit and join the party. Bush has the tough stuff handled.