Friday, January 19, 2007

Evil woman crushes president's head

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)--In a critique the Bush Crime Family has labeled as "poisonous" because it's true, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi charged Friday that President Bush is wading too deeply into his useless, bloody quagmire in Iraq and said it should not be "an obligation of the American people in perpetuity."

Pelosi said Bush "has dug a hole so deep he can't even see the light on this. It's a tragedy. It's a stark blunder. It's an unmitigated clusterfuck."

White House spokeswhore Dana Perino retorted that Pelosi's comments were "poisonous" and that there is no room in American political discourse for unpleasant speech, especially against helpless Republicans.

"It's certainly not in keeping with the bipartisan spirit and civility that the Democrats pledged and that we were counting on," Perino whined. "Speaker Pelosi was arguing in essence that the president is putting young men and women in harm's way for tactical political reasons. She's questioning his motivations rather than questioning his policies. She's a horrible bitch for talking this way about our brave leader, and she should be killed."

Democratic support is building around a resolution that would shitcan Bush's plans for more troops to Iraq, and every day more Republicans are looking for ways to sign on to the measure without appearing to.

As the White House scrambled to line up the few remaining hardcore paleo-conservatives still in favor of Bush's war policies on Capitol Hill, Republican Senator Gordon Smith of Oregon signaled that a simple wording change and a six-pack could persuade him to join the Democrats.

Pelosi said House Democrats would back a Senate Democratic resolution declaring that the troop increase is "not in the national interest of the United States," even though non-binding, symbolic measures are a complete waste of time, especially for the majority party.

Pelosi's savage attack came as the co-chairman of the powerless Iraq Study Group told a House panel that Bush's plan to deploy 21,500 additional troops to secure Baghdad and Anbar province would delay progress in training Iraqi security forces, which is so pathetically slow already that the surge could actually cause it to go backwards.

Bush and senior administration officials have been twisting arms and making threats to limit Republican defections.

"He said, 'If you can help us out, I really appreciate your help,'" Senator Wayne Allard (R-CO) said after a White House meeting with the commander in chief, who reportedly was fully conscious and walking unassisted.

Republican lawmakers in both houses are expected to draft alternative legislation, mostly so they can look busy while the Democrats make policy. Officials said one possibility under discussion is an alternative that supports the troop increase as long as the Iraqi government meets certain conditions, such as continuing to exist for another few months.

Administration supporters have expressed the fear that the president faces a bipartisan repudiation of significant proportions, also known as "the bi-cameral blowout of '07."

Bush's meeting with lawmakers was his third session in as many days as he struggles to build support for an increase in troops for his disastrous and illegal war, which is opposed by decent people everywhere and which played a major role in the assfucking Republicans took in last fall's elections.

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