Saturday, April 07, 2007

Live from Crawford

CRAWFORD (Reuters)--President George W. Bush once again called on Democrats on Saturday to approve over $100 billion to fund the Iraq war without attaching a troop pullout timetable, while Democrats once again called on him to go fuck himself.

Broadcasting his weekly radio address from the basement kegroom of his fake Texas ranch, Bush continued to whine about the mean old Democrats in control of the U.S. Congress who want to ruin his war, no matter how vociferously he explains to them how the troops want to stay in Iraq until everyone there is dead.

"The bottom line is that Congress' failure to fund our troops in a way that respects my authority will mean that some of our military families could find out that their loved ones died just to help my family and friends get richer," Bush said. "And that is intol... intoleral...unacceptable."

Democratic National Committee chairman Howard Dean, who was fucked out of his party's presidential nomination in 2004, said it was time for Bush to end his "my way or the highway" bullshit and respect voters who finally elected Democrats based on their opposition to his endless bloodbath.

"It is time for the president and Republicans in Congress to stop trying to bully their way through this and work with Democrats to end the war. It's time for the president to show respect to the American people, who voted overwhelmingly to leave Iraq," Dean said. "Yeeaaaarrgh!" he added.

It was the latest in a daily crossfire over Iraq war funding that seems likely to last until enough Republicans get embarrassed enough by the president's self-righteous petulance and incipient wetbrain to join with Democrats to make the legislation veto-proof.

White House officials believe the public will side with the president even though he's a gack-addled criminal fuckwit with no credibility on Iraq or anything else.

Democrats believe they have the upper hand because congressional elections last November that catapulted them to power were seen as a referendum on the total incompetence of the Bush Administration in general and their egregious handling of the Iraq war in particular.

Stephen Hess, a professor of media and public affairs at George Washington University in Washington, said he could see a scenario in which Democrats will ultimately have to give the little prick his money because Americans will want to "support the troops," which means keeping them in the crossfire until Bush retires to Paraguay in 2009.

"Assuming that neither side overplays its hand, in the game of scissors-cuts-paper, support the troops cuts Iraq dateline," Hess said. He did not explain how you can overplay a hand of scissors-cuts-paper.

Democrats say that's bullshit anyway, because it's the troops they're most concerned about. "Together as Americans we have to stand up for our troops. The best way to do that is to get them out of the middle of a civil war in Iraq," Dean said. "I mean, duh."

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