Saturday, October 07, 2006

Crazy bitch keeps getting crazier

ORLANDO, FL (AP)--Republican Senate hopeful and certified wingnut Katherine Harris says Florida's Democratic incumbent supports un-Christian political policies, such as democracy and constitutional legitimacy.

Harris--whose incoherent comments were made on a Christian radio network and published by Agape Press, a Christian news service--did not mention specific policies, but she has repeatedly berated Senator Bill Nelson for supporting women's rights and resisting a constitutional amendment outlawing homosexuality.

The congresswoman has worked to attract Christian voters throughout her campaign, usually by making batshit insane pronouncements designed to appeal to people as damaged and stupid as she is. This summer, Harris told a Baptist newsrag that Christians should be involved in politics because otherwise legislative bodies would "legislate sin," whatever that's supposed to mean, and that the separation of church and state is "a lie we have been told," apparently by the framers of our Constitution.

In an effort to explain those remarks, Harris told American Family Radio News: "I was being specific in talking to them in fundamentalist code and differentiating myself from Bill Nelson, who claims to be a Christian and yet often appears in public with the Mark of the Beast clearly visible on his forehead."

Harris spokeswoman Jennifer Marks defended the congresswoman's comments as best she could.

"She was simply drawing a comparison between her record and his on these issues of concern to raving Jesus freaks, because they are completely different records," Marks said. "If he were really a Christian, he'd vote like her, dress like her, suck up to the Bush Family like her; he'd be packing heat and compiling huge lists of felons like her, but he's not doing any of that, is he? He's even less like her than most people are, which makes him pathetically un-Christian and probably a terrorist."

Nelson has said he voted against the ban on what conservatives like to call partial-birth abortion because the legislation did not have an exception for the health of the mother, who might be a perfectly nice young girl raped by an angel of God, who shouldn't be forced to give birth to some holy bastard who's just going to grow up and be executed for crimes against the state, anyway.

Nelson has also said that he is personally opposed to gay marriage, but that it is an issue that should be decided by individual gay people.

"Instead of questioning Nelson's faith like she's doing, she should be spending time answering questions about her ethical problems," Nelson spokesman Bryan Gulley said. "Preferably under oath."

With about a month to go before the election, Harris trails Nelson by double digits in most polls, even though she has better tits. She has had perhaps the most disastrous campaign in Florida history, with questions about her shady dealings with a corrupt defense contractor, multiple waves of staff resignations in response to her pathological bitchery, and top Republicans trying to recruit someone, anyone else to run in her place, and failing.

Harris, acting simultaneously as Florida secretary of state and Bush campaign co-chair for the state, engineered the ratfucking that stole the presidency for George W. Bush in 2000. She was rewarded with a Congressional seat, but her lust for power and attention is insatiable and she won't rest until everyone who was ever mean to her is reduced to a state of abject servitude.

2 comments:

danrwarner@earthlink.net said...

I respect your right to your opinion but have you checked out the latest exploits of you wonderful Mr. Bill Nelson taking it upon himself to visit foreign dignitaries IE assad a known terrorist. so tell me about his loyalty. And BTW Christians are more secure than you and you know it thats why you are so angry. Abortion is murder not a womans choice, and if you support it you aide and abed

Bob said...

Dude, learn to spell.