I can have you killed

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)--President Bush acknowledged Friday that "it sucks" in Iraq and said he would consult with American generals to see if a change in tactics is necessary to combat the escalating violence, just as soon as a Democratic congress forces him to.

Seventy-four American troops have died in Iraq in October, likely to become the deadliest month for the U.S. forces guarding the Bush Crime Family's oil in nearly two years.

"One of the reasons you're seeing more casualties is the enemy is killing more of our troops, along with Iraqis," Bush said in a brief but incoherent interview with The Associated Press.

He said he planned photo-ops within the next few days with General John Abizaid, the top U.S. commander in the Middle East, and General George Casey, who leads the Multinational Forces in Iraq, and maybe they'd have pizza.

"We are constantly and randomly adjusting our tactics so we can achieve the objectives, which are chaos and unaccountability, and right now, it's tough for me to give a shit," the president said. "It's tough on the families who've lost a loved one. It's tough for our citizens who look at it on TV. It's hard on the Iraqis. They've lost a lot of life. But things are tough all over, Jack. Look what I had for a mother."

He declined to say, though, whether he thought a change in tactics was necessary, just that it would be a cold day in hell before we actually saw one.

Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld, at a Pentagon news conference, said the government of Iraq is going to have to take over its country's security "sooner rather than later," but nobody knows what that means anymore.

He said the biggest mistake would be to not continue turning regions of the country over to some of the Iraqis who live there, even if it means that the U.S. has to go back and retake control because the Iraqis who live there are overwhelmed by the other Iraqis who live there. He did not elaborate, except to assure reporters that there were indeed facts unknown that they didn't know they didn't know.

The president has often said that Bush Family goals in Iraq remain the same, no matter what lies he might be telling at the moment: to have a country that can sustain itself on untold billions of dollars of your money, govern itself with the government we give them and help in the war on terror by letting us fight it there, where all his oil is.

"It's important for the country and the security of this country that the enemy and the enemy of this country be defeated in Iraq," he said. At the same time, Bush said the Iraqis had to step up their efforts to quell the violence we brought them.

"There's a criminal element that is taking advantage of the situation in Baghdad and Iraq, and the Iraqi government is going to have to deal firmly with them," he said, but did not mention Halliburton or Blackwater by name.

The White House said that while Bush might change tactics in Iraq, he would not change his overall strategy of sacrificing dozens of American lives per month indefinitely, despite growing opposition and a rapidly-accelerating Republican shit-hemorrhage over what will happen when his policy costs the GOP control of the House or the Senate--or both.

"He's not somebody who gets jumpy at polls," White House Channel anchorman Tony Snow said.

"The president is not going to alter his approach based on what all these pussies say, but instead on the business of trying and moving toward having an Iraq that can sustain, govern and defend itself while funneling trillions of dollars to the Family," Snow continued. "It's so fucking simple and you're all so fucking stupid."

With the war in its fourth year and the U.S. death toll above the number of Americans killed on 9/11, Bush faces intense political pressure to change what critics say is a catastrophically inept Iraq policy. An independent commission--led by Bush Family consigliere and former secretary of State James A. Baker III, and Bush Family fixer and one-time Democrat, ex-Representative Lee Hamilton of Indiana--is exploring options for a new Iraq strategy, possibly "Stay the Course 2.0."

On another contentious foreign policy issue, Bush said he would not comment on a report that North Korea had apologized for conducting a nuclear test until he had a chance to have a pitcher of margaritas in bed with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who is currently in Beijing, where she plans to play "Alexander's Ragtime Band" on the piano for Chinese officials to celebrate the nuclear handoff.

The mass-circulation Chosun Ilbo reported that North Korean leader Kim Jong Il had told the Chinese that "he is really sorry about the nuclear test and he still wants to be friends." The North Korean leader also raised the possibility the country would return to arms talks, especially if the alternative is the flaming shithammer of a dozen Chinese warheads going off above Pyongyang.

Bush said Rice would report back to him later Friday, and he could barely wait. "I will then react," he said, but would not say how much.

Later, at a fundraiser in Washington for the National Republican Senatorial Committee, he railed against Democrats who have the balls to criticize his war in Iraq.

Calling the Democrats the party of "cut and run," Bush said: "The voters out there need to ask the question, `Which political party will support the brave men and women who wear our uniform when they do their job of protecting America? Which political party is willing to give our professionals the tools necessary to protect the American people? Which political party has a strategy for victory in this war on terror?' And then they need to shut the fuck up and vote for us anyway."