Science vs. the Shitheads II

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)--President Bush hid from the cameras Wednesday like the cowardly, petulant bitch he is, to cast the first veto of his presidency, saying legislation to increase federal funding for embryonic stem cell research "crosses a moral boundary," which is suddenly a problem for the pro-torture, pro-death squad administration.

"This bill would support the taking of innocent human life in the hope of finding medical benefits for others, and has no clear advantage for my corporate puppet-masters," Bush said at a White House photo op where he was surrounded by 18 Republican families who used leftover goo from an IVF clinic to make their own children.

"Each of these children was still adopted while still an embryo and has been blessed with a chance to grow, to grow up in a loving family. These boys and girls are not spare parts," he said. "Imagine if they were? 'Ooo, zombie-arm thing's after me! Oh, no, it's just Junior!' No, seriously, though: that would suck."

The veto came a day after the Senate defied Bush and approved the legislation, 63-37, four votes short of the two-thirds margin which would more accurately reflect the will of the electorate. White House officials and Republican congressional leaders claimed it was unlikely that Congress could override the veto, so it was another triumph over the filthy, filthy rabble out there in the countryside.

Bush had made 141 veto threats during his time in office, and the Republican drones controlling Congress typically respond by changing bills to his liking.

Bush's support was the strongest in the House, which he desperately needs to keep control of if he wants to stay out of jail.

Bush has supported federally funded research on only those stem cell lines created before August 9, 2001, the date of his speech to the nation on the subject, three days after receiving and ignoring the national security briefing advising him of Osama bin Laden's plan to attack the U.S. by crashing airplanes into buildings.

The president vetoed the measure shortly after it came to his desk, then scurried off to his little photo op. His position was politically popular among anti-science fucktards, and is sure to be an issue in the midterm congressional elections, which could in turn determine whether Bush will retire to Crawford or Guantanamo.

Announcing the veto, Bush was surrounded in the East Room by so-called "snowflake" families, those with children born immaculately, through embryo donation.

"They remind us of what is lost when embryos are destroyed in the name of research instead of flushed to gain space. They remind us that we all begin our lives as a small collection of cells, and then some of us grow up to be deciders. And they remind us that in our zeal for new treatments and cures, America must never abandon our fundamental morals," Bush said. "Nancy Reagan can blow me. I need to keep control of the House."

He said the bill would have crossed a line and "once crossed, we would find it impossible to turn back, like a maze on a truckstop placemat...

"As science brings us every closer to unlocking the secrets of human biology, it also offers temptations to manipulate human life and violate human dignity. But I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Merkel."