Wednesday, August 16, 2006

McCain in Iowa. Again.

GRINNELL, Iowa (Reuters)-- Arizona Senator John "Bitch" McCain, who blew off Iowa's kickoff nominating contest during his sabotaged 2000 presidential bid, said on Tuesday that a newfound sense of desperation could lead him to compete in the state when he makes another embarrassing White House run.

McCain, who has been hiring lackeys and accepting soft money for a 2008 bid, told reporters on his third otherwise-inexplicable visit to Iowa this year that he still faces a lot of childish bullshit from super-entitled party hacks in Iowa over skipping the contest in 2000.

McCain said his decision on a presidential run would depend on how bad an assfucking the GOP takes in November's congressional elections. If he does run, he said, his established position as King Suckup of the Republican Party calls for a different type of campaign than the ridiculous "maverick" thing he floated until the Bush Cabal smeared his family in 2000.

"We haven't decided whether to compete here, but you could make the argument that it's very different from 2000," McCain said in Grinnell, where he appeared at a fund raiser for a two-bit Republican state legislator.

"In 2000, I was young and dumb and full of come and we thought we could afford to pass up on Iowa," he said. "Certainly conditions are not the same as they were in 2000 politically. Or does that make me sound stupid?"

McCain has cemented his status in the party with his fawning support of President George W. Bush and the Iraq war and with his elevated standing in public opinion polls, in which he emerges as the one anybody's ever heard of in a Republican field crowded with sleazy little grifters from out back.

He has reached out to establishment Republican bagmen and sucked up to the religious wingnuts who dominate the Iowa caucuses and other early contests in the party's nomination fight.

McCain had considerable success after skipping Iowa in 2000, winning the New Hampshire primary and actually daring to challenge the Bush Crime Family until they ratfucked him with a dishonest and racist push-polling phone campaign and won the primary fight in South Carolina by appealing to the redneck Secessionist wanna-be crowd, which is the largest voting block in that state.

"Here in Iowa there are parts of the party where there is still lingering resentment over the bitterness of the 2000 race, so we would have a lot of ass-kissing to do," McCain said, privately masturbating over polls that show him a front-runner in 2008.

McCain emphasized to the crowd in Grinnell his unwavering support for Bush's criminally insane stance in Iraq and in the imaginary war on terrorism, and his lip-service opposition to the highest congressional spending in history.

"I have supported this president who has made me his bitch and I'm very happy to do whatever they want," he said.

No comments: