Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Bush: I thought I told you to fuck off

WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP)--The Bush Compound on Tuesday praised Furious George's habitual use of special statements that claim authority to ignore the bills he signs, saying the statements help him circumvent the Constitution and undermine national security.

Arlen Specter is chairing some hearings, and the Beltway rumor mill has the president in prison by Christmas.

On the White House Network, anchorman Tony Snow said, "There's this notion that the president is committing acts of civil disobedience, and he's not. He's telling Congress to go fuck itself. It's important for the president at least to express reservations about the constitutionality of certain provisions, and to be able to tell Congress to go fuck itself."

The bill-signing statements say Bush reserves a right to revise, interpret or disregard measures because 9/11 changed everything. Bush has reserved the right to ignore about 750 statutes passed by Congress, including legislation to ban torture of detainees.

"The president has done the same thing that his predecessors have," Snow told reporters. "Nobody ever accused Bill Clinton of breaking the law."

Democrats called the signing statements an example of the president trying to finally realize his grandfather's dream of being Hitler, and everyone pretended not to know what they mean.

Defending Bush, a Justice Department lawyer said that one great thing about the September 11 terrorist attacks is that now the president can do whatever he wants.

"Even if he seems totally out of control, let me just suggest that it be viewed in light of current events and Congress' hysterical response to those events," said lawyer Michelle Boardman. "The significance of legislation affecting national security has increased markedly since September 11. The separation of powers is working when we have this kind of dispute, and that's what we need to stop."

Other presidents have used signing statements for administrative reasons, such as instructing an agency how to put a certain law into effect. They usually are inserted quietly into the federal record. Bush is the first president to use signing statements to prevent the law from applying to him, but only because Nixon thought he didn't need to.

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