Bush: Jeb is next, bitches

ORLANDO (AP)--President Bush suggested Wednesday that he'd like to see his family's White House legacy continue until the country is just a smashed, smoldering ruin, perhaps with his younger brother Jeb as the next chief executive.

The president said Florida Governor Jeb (Pork Chop) Bush is well-suited for another office and would make "a great president, like me. And it's his turn."

"I would like to see Jeb run the country into the ground at some point in time, but I have no idea if that's his intention or not," Mr. Bush said in an interview with Florida reporters, according to an account on the St. Petersburg Times Web site.

The president said he had "slapped him around a little, burnt him with a hot brand a couple times trying to get him to run," but Jeb has not submitted yet.

"I have no idea what he's going to do. I've asked him that question myself, under hot lights, tickling him 'til he peed. I truly don't think he knows he has no choice," Mr. Bush said.

Jeb Bush, 53, will end his second term as governor in January. His brother George ends his second presidential term in January 2009. Neither can seek re-election because of term limits. Those are the breaks in the harsh, heartless world of the ruling class.

Jeb Bush has repeatedly said he is not going to run in 2008, often as vehemently as his father promising not to raise taxes, or his brother promising to capture Osama bin Laden.

But even his own father said no one believes him when he says he's not interested in running the country into the ground at some point. Former President George H.W. (Satan) Bush told CNN's "Larry King Live" last year that he would like Jeb Bush to run one day and that the boys do what they're told if they know what's good for them.

The Florida governor laughed uncomfortably when asked about his father's comments last June. "Oh, Lord," he said, and his hands shook. "I love my dad; he really wants to keep his records sealed."

The brothers Bush appeared together Tuesday during the president's visit to the Tampa area. Governor Bush was waiting on the tarmac when Air Force One arrived and greeted the president with a phony politician's handshake and "Welcome to Florida." The president brushed aside the formality and a panting, gasping Katherine Harris and playfully adjusted his younger brother's necktie until his face turned blue.

Jeb Bush introduced his brother at a retirement community in Sun City Center, where the president instructed an assemblage of rebellious geriatrics to respect his authority and get in line. They had a private lunch together with local bagmen & fixers, then visited a fire station and appeared together before television cameras to express what fun the fire station was.

The governor was not with the president during his visit to The Puerto Rican Club of Central Florida in Orlando Wednesday, the president's final stop on a desperate & pointless three-day trip to the state. But the president made sure his fat little brother still got some attention.

"Yesterday I checked in with my brother," President Bush said as he took the stage. "Make sure everything's going all right. I'm real proud of Jeb. He's a good decent man and I love him dearly. Daddy, stop. No, Daddy, take me instead."