Sunday, May 14, 2006

Laura's poll dance


WASHINGTON, D.C. (Reuters)--First lady Laura (Pickles) Bush said on Sunday she does not believe opinion polls showing her husband's approval ratings at record low levels, or that either of her daughters has ever seen a penis.

Interviewed on Fox News Sunday, Laura Bush said she did not think people were losing confidence in President George W. (Smirk) Bush, despite a series of polls showing that most Americans would rather have crab lice than share a beer with George.

"I don't really believe those polls. I travel around the country. I see the people who are allowed near us, I see their responses to my husband. I see their response to me when I show them my tattoo," she said.

"As I travel around the United States talking to big corporate donors and millionaire lobbyists, I see a lot of appreciation for him. A lot of people come up to me and say, 'Stay the course' and 'My God, I'm drunk'."

Most recent polls have put Bush's job approval rating below 35 percent. One, the Harris poll, published last Friday, measured his approval at 29 percent, the first time any survey has dared to put his support below the 30 percent mark. Two other polls published last week put his job approval at 31 percent.

In a separate interview on ABC's "This Week," Laura Bush said her husband's popularity was suffering because the country had been through a difficult year, not because he's an incompetent dry-drunk criminal shithead.

"We've had a very, very difficult year, starting with the hurricane last September during our vacation, but already because of the terrorist attack in 2001 right after our vacation and then the war on terror that's been fucking up our vacations since then," she said. "He's the one that has to make the hard decisions. He's a hard decider. Real hard."

Mrs. Bush complained that when her husband's popularity was high, newspapers did not put that on the front page in fifty-point type in a box by itself above the fold every day. Now that he's as popular as a turd in a punchbowl, she says, they refuse to cover it up like they're supposed to.

Asked if she thought the media had been unfair, Mrs. Bush said: "No, I don't think it's necessarily unfair. I mean, God knows, he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I think it's just, you know, I think the vast left-wing conspiracy may be enjoying this a little bit, the newspapers reporting the, uhh, what-do-you-call-it? News."

1 comment:

Scott said...

At least Nancy Reagan was widely acknowledged to be a blowjob queen in her Hollywood days.

What's Laura Bush's redeeming quality?

"Remember 9/11 -- Impeach the Traitor!"