Saturday, May 06, 2006

Negroponte makes his move

WASHINGTON (AP)--The White House planned to quickly nominate a new CIA director to replace outgoing Porter (Tampa Spook) Goss, who offered little explanation in announcing his resignation from the embattled agency, possibly because "I was about to be implicated in the Watergate prostitution scandal" polled poorly with the Red State retards who form the president's base (or, in Arabic, "qaeda").

The leading candidate to replace him is raving fascist Air Force general Michael (Wiretap) Hayden, top deputy to National Intelligence Director John (Death Squad) Negroponte, said a senior administration official not currently under indictment. An announcement could come as early as Monday, especially if it seems like the only way to keep Hookergate off the front page.

Hayden was National Security Agency director until becoming the nation's No. 2 intelligence official a year ago. Since December, he has aggressively defended the Bush administration's illegal & unconstitutional warrantless surveillance program, which he designed and implemented.

Knowledgeable Republicans said Friday night that Hayden was thought to top Bush's short list of candidates to replace Goss. Among others mentioned were three people you never heard of because they are either obscure Bush Family cronies or Negroponte bagmen.

It was not clear whether Goss resigned unexpectedly or as a result of a series of hysterical power plays over a period of months. An intelligence official, speaking only on condition of anonymity because he wants to live, said Goss had stood up for the agency when there were differences with Negroponte's office, which was created during another suspiciously abrupt shuffling of titles & responsibilities about a year ago.

Negroponte, Goss' classmate at Yale University—or "Ol' Spooky," as it is known among its numerous graduates in the Bush Crime Family—said in a statement that Goss worked tirelessly during a CIA transition period. "As my friend for almost 50 years, I will miss ignoring Porter's day-to-day counsel," he said. "But that's life in the secret government."

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