Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Rumsfeld denies anything matters

WASHINGTON (AP) - Defense Secretary Donald H. (Hammerhead) Rumsfeld said Tuesday he can hardly wait until a military general is head of the CIA, and said the Pentagon already has so much cash to throw around it can buy whatever intelligence it needs.

"There's no power play taking place in Washington. Heavens, no," Rumsfeld told Pentagon reporters. He called talk of bureaucratic turf fights between the Bush Crime Family and the Pentagon "theoretical conspiracies" and "complete bullshit."

President Bush's selection of Air Force Gen. Michael (Wiretap) Hayden to head the CIA has raised questions from responsible, security-minded congressional Republicans and rabid, kneejerk obstructionist terror-loving Democrats over his ability to be independent from the military establishment that has nurtured and protected him, as well as his fanatical devotion to an illegal & unconstitutional eavesdropping program he helped design.

Hayden, who now is chief henchman to John (Death Squad) Negroponte, formerly headed the National Security Agency and is a 37-year Air Force veteran.

Rumsfeld said there have been military leaders of the spy agency in the past and that would pose no conflict with the Pentagon, which no one bothered to mention was the opposite of what people are worried about.

Some members of Congress, voicing concern about having a military person in charge of the civilian CIA, have suggested that Hayden resign his commission, which some others regard as asinine.

Rumsfeld offered strong praise for Hayden.

"He's an intelligence professional, is what he is," he said. "A spook's spook. He did not come up through the operational chain in the Department of Defense, where he'd leave a paper trail and possibly hints about his secret life. He's a person who has had assignment after assignment after assignment in the intelligence business, who moves without sound and leaves no trace. And, clearly, that is what his career has been, as far as we can tell from the color-coding on Negroponte's rolodex. And he's been very good at it. So do I want to fuck with the Air Force ninja? Heavens, no. "

On another matter, Rumsfeld urged Congress to pass a late-night money grab that contains $65 billion for war-related expenses for the Pentagon. He referred specifically to the House having cut from the spending measure about $760 million that the Pentagon says it needs for bribing Iraqi and Afghan security forces to stop shooting people indiscriminately in the street.

"A slowdown in cash-flow will have the harmful effect of postponing the day when our men and women in uniform can return home with the honor and appreciation they deserve," he said menacingly, and smiled his awful, grinchly smile. "Just something for you bean-counters to think about."

Asked how the prewar intelligence failures with regard to Iraq affect his thinking about the reliability of intelligence on Iran's nuclear program, Rumsfeld grimaced condescendingly and said he realizes that intelligence is sometimes flawed.

"It's a tough business. It's a difficult thing to be right all the time," he said, chortling. "Does that give one pause? You bet," particularly in light of the fact that the Bush Family devastated Iranian intelligence-gathering activities when they blew the lid off Valerie Plame's cover operation, Brewster Jennings. "So what are you gonna do?"

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